Never Wait For Someone Who Doesn't Show You They Want You

 

Samantha waited for Bradley for a long part of her adult years. They met when she was 21 and he was 22. They attended university together and both graduated with honours. She found a great job immediately. Bradley, on the other hand, even though he was qualified and his character was tops, he was constantly overlooked and under appreciated for his skills.

After a year of going from job to job that had nothing to do with his university degree, Samantha finally convinced her employer that Bradley would be a great fit for the company. He was hired and they worked together for 15 years!

It was earlier on in the the sixth month of working together, living as roommates and together literally 24hrs a day, when Samantha decided to take the friendship to a deeper level.

She adored Bradley. He was a gentleman, was never perverted with women and respected them like he did his mother. Nevertheless, he always had a tough time giving an attractive woman a pickup line, or even a compliment, so it was her thinking that perhaps Bradley was too much of gentleman to make the moves on her, too.

Samantha decided to make her move. How she did it was by inviting Bradley out for dinner and made a proposal over after dinner drinks. The proposal was for the two of them to start a relationship together and see how it goes.

She said "Bradley, I'm making a proposal. If you say no it's totally fine. We will remain the same. If you say yes we will try, and if it works then great. If it doesn't work then we'll go back to how things are now."

Bradley had no clue what Samantha was about to propose, but he said "Let's do it, Samantha! All your suggestions are fun, and they always turn out perfectly awesome. Remember your suggestion to vacation in Monaco? That was the most amazing last minute vacat-"

That's when she interrupted and said with tears in her eyes "Bradley, don't say another word. Please just take my hand and hold it like you did on our safari tour in Africa when I was so insanely terrified a wild beast would jump in the truck and attack us!"

Quickly he reached across the table and held her hand and said "I got you. What's the proposal?"

She started laughing not realizing he wasn't joking, but seriously asking what the proposition was. He had no idea. For all he knew it was moving in a new roommate.

She assumed by the way she asked he'd understand what she was proposing. After all, they had the type of connection that could be considered reading each other's minds. They often knew what the was thinking and feeling.

When she could see by the look in his eyes that he was truly confused, she stopped laughing and said "Oh gosh, this is embarrassing! I thought you said let's do it, because you understood what I was proposing."

It was at that moment that he caught on. He didn't want her to feel ashamed so he covered it up by saying "Samantha! I'm joking, I understand. You want us to take our friendship to a deeper level. Right?" He was hoping he was wrong.

She beamed a huge smile and said "Haha, you had me for a second! Whew! I was about to burst out in tears of embarrassment. My gosh!"

Even though Samantha was attractive, she just wasn't what Bradley was looking for in a life long partner. It's true they had a deeper connection and closer friendship than anyone in his life, but for him that's all it was; friendship.

Now he felt stuck. Profusely sweating and panicked. He knew he couldn't take back what he said, because if he did it would devastate her, and quite possibly change the friendship.

She continued and said "Bradley, I truly hope this lasts. I know it will be awkward at first, especially kissing... making love, but I'm ready. I vote for kicking our new relationship off with a bang by getting the whole sex thing out of the way tonight! What do you think!" She asked for the bill while motioning for him to get up so they can pay and go home.

"Umm, ok." He said, but was immediately fear struck. He wanted to run. Sex was something he didn't want to have with her, and was desperately thinking of a scapegoat. He wanted to call a friend to ask them to call him saying there was an 'emergency' and they needed help, but he couldn't, because in the case of a real emergency Samantha would tag along. They did everything together.

Instead, to bide some time, as they were walking to catch a taxi he said "Hey let's go to the new bar across the street! I read they have happy hour all day today as part of their grand opening. By the looks of it online It seems to be fancy and really modern"

She thought it was somewhat of a strange suggestion. After all, she had hoped he'd be thrilled to go home and make love to her, finally. Plus, Bradley's not the spontaneous type, so it was out of character for him to suggest something unplanned. Moreover, he's not a heavy drinker. Stopping for all day happy hour was completely off base for him to suggest. Besides, his limit was usually two drinks and he already had three drinks during dinner.

Samantha caught on that Bradley was trying to hold off from the intense sexual interaction. She assumed it was out of nervousness, and not what it really was- a lack of interest.

So agreeing to walk over to the new fancy bar, she grabbed his hand and clasped it into hers, which she had never done before, and said "Let's go!". She was thinking he just needed some coaxing before love making. Also, the last thing she wanted to do was be pushy. She knew all too well he was not attracted to aggressive women.

He reluctantly allowed her to continue holding his hand well after they ordered their drinks. It was just before the drinks arrived to their table that he squeezed out of her grasp and went to the bathroom.

Calling his mom was no help at all. For she was elated! It was a prayer come true to have her son and Samantha become more seriously involved.

With no understanding from his mother, Bradley called his old pal, but his friend said "Shit man! Screw her and then tell her you changed your mind. Samantha is a frigging fox! I don't know why you didn't bang her long ago!"

Clearly his buddy was no help either. So he called me. I'm his life coach. I told him to be honest. Explain that he really didn't know what her proposal was going to be, and was surprised by it. I suggested he tell her he needs some more time to truly think through the proposal of being together. I also suggested he tell her how beautiful and smart he thinks she is, but the truth is he views her like a sister. Taking time to ponder the proposition is imperative. Furthermore, remind her of how much of a planner he is and that something this serious requires time to process.

He liked what I said. When we hung up. He got back to the bar, had a drink to conjure up the nerve to broach the let down, but he couldn't, because all she was talking about was their future, how happy she is that he feels the same, and who they'll tell first.

He ended up getting intoxicated, and she had to practically carry him to the cab after just four strong drinks. Needless to say they couldn't make love that night. When he awoke she was in his bed. He jumped up out of surprise.

She said "Bradley, are you OK? You were so out of it last night I thought I'd stay with you in bed. It's not like it's the first time we slept together, why do you look so surprised?"

"Uhh, we slept together before, but in hotels with a king size bed, and while on vacation. This is different, it's my bed. You have your own bedroom down the hall."

"Well, I thought since we're trying this relationship stuff I'd spend the night in here. Is everything OK? You seem so... off."

"I'm OK, but I... ah, did we have sex?"

"No. You passed out as soon as you hit the bed. I took your shoes off, and pants, but couldn't tug your shirt off. Left your undies on for obvious reasons. I want to see that part when it's that time."

"Listen, Samantha-"

"I know, don't say it. You're not ready to have sex. That's OK. We'll take it slow. When it happens it happens. I'm hoping in the shower. Remember, it's dinner at your mom's today. My mom's is next Sunday. Maybe next Easter we'll have it here for both our moms!"

She bounced out the room with only her panties and bra on, but before shutting the door she blew him a kiss and said "We did kiss twice last night. Your lips are so soft! I love how sensual you were with me."

He was lost for words. He decided to tell her what I had suggested after dinner, but when they got back home from his mom's place.

As soon as they arrived Bradley's mom opened the door with a huge hello and a screech of "CONGRATULATIONS"

Samantha fell into Bradley's mother's hug, and tears welled in both of their eyes. Pulling Samantha away from her, Bradley's mother grabbed Samantha's face gently into her hands and said "I always knew you and Bradley would be together. I prayed so many times about it!"

Bradley felt defeated. He walked past the ladies and into the kitchen. His step-dad was in there pouring a drink and picking into the potato salad. He looked up at Bradley and said "Why the gloom look? Trouble in paradise already?"

Bradley shrug and said "It's a long story."

"Tell me, I have time. Come in the den. I'm having a cigar with this delicious scotch you're mom bought me. I'd offer you one, but I know you don't like strong drinks."

“I'm good. I kinda had too much last night.”

“You? Had too much? Doesn't sound like the Bradley that I know. Let's go into the den, let the ladies do their kitchen thing!”

Bradley followed his step-dad into the den, but the conversation turned more into a lecture about why Bradley should just relax, and at least try to date Samantha. The stepdad said

"Look at it as an arranged marriage, but from God. You're not getting any younger. So, if your not gay, then at least try it out. Samantha is smoking hot! Even your mom says so, and she's a woman!"

The dinner was quick. They were out within two hours. As they were in the taxi Samantha said "Bradley, I was so surprised you told your mom already. That was sweet!"

Bradley nodded and said "Yeah, but she kind of blew it out of proportion."

"She's just happy for us. Look, she gave me this ring. She said she was already planning to give it to me today, but was thrilled to now have a reason to gift it."

Bradley glanced at the ring. It was a ring he's seen since childhood in his mom's jewelry box. He always knew his wife might get it when he got married, but he had no idea that his mom was planning to give it Samantha.

When they got home Bradley wanted time alone. He told Samantha he was going to bed early. She said "Bradley, we're not gonna watch Sunday night movies like we always do? Don't tell me you're changing into a bum of a boyfriend already!"

Bradley just nodded and said "I'll lay down for just a while. I'm still feeling the effects of last night's alcohol."

She said "Can I lay down with you?"

Bradley said "You know my bed is small. I like to stretch out."

"Well, we can lay in mine! I have a King size and you know it's comfortable!"

"Naw, not tonight. My head is banging. I just want to rest."

"Bradley. You're not changing your mind already are you? Just tell me!"

"Samantha, can we talk later? I'm beat." It was the perfect time to sit her down and talk, but he was unprepared. He didn't want to disappoint his mother, either.

From all the drinks the night before and the entire situation in general, Bradley went straight to sleep. He had a dream that him and Samantha were running through downtown Toronto away from imminent danger. He grabbed her up into his arms and ran for cover. When they were safe he touched her face and woke up. Upon waking he he was still sweating and his adrenaline was still pumping. He could feel his heart beating out of his chest.

Calming down after a few minutes, remembering his dream, he thought about the proposal. He didn't feel as stressed as he did the night before, and earlier that day. He took the dream as a sign that he should give this proposal a shot. He really just wanted to hold Samantha and kiss her. Not make love yet, but begin to get to know her on a more intimate level.

He left his room to talk to Samantha. He found her in the kitchen making popcorn, their favorite snack. She looked at him and smiled. He loved her smile. Before she could speak he took her into his arms and kissed her softly. He said “Samantha, let's take it slow. You know me, I don't rush into things, but I am liking the idea of us getting to know each other on a deeper more intimate level.”

“Bradley, as you were sleeping I was thinking the same thing. I felt I rushed you into this, and didn't take your character into consideration. I know how you like to plan things.”

“You certainly took me for a loop, but I slept on it and I'm actually liking the idea of being together. We'll take it one day at a time, but with one promise.”

“I know. The promise that if this doesn't work out we'll remain friends, and still be the best of friends.”

“Exactly.”

The two started out slow. Their friends and family were all so happy for them, and they seemed to be the perfect couple. Some days Bradley felt it was a good fit, but on other days he struggled with the feeling that Samantha was not his forever one.

He felt like she just wasn't his person. As a friend they were inseparable, but as lovers he felt something was missing. Making love to her didn't turn him on. It wasn't that her sex was bad. It was more that he wasn't into her touch, her breasts, her lips, her body. She was certainly a 9 out of a 10 in the looks department, but Bradley wasn't the type that was attracted to looks, only. He needed a vibe.

After dating for three months he felt it was best to be honest and tell her how he was feeling. She was already talking about the future; marriage and kids. Bradley on the other hand had no desire to marry her, and certainly wasn't interested in having children with her, either.

When he sat Samantha down to discuss the situation she said “Bradley, please don't say it. I know what you're feeling. You're not as interested in me as I'm in you.”

“Samantha, I tried. God knows I tried. Some days I can see myself with you forever, but most days I feel like you're more of a sister to me, and at times I even feel guilty making love to you.”

“Well, let's not waste another word on this conversation. There's no room for discussion. I'll take my clothes out of your room, and you can move back in there.”

“Are you alright?”

“I guess, but there's one thing I'll miss about us being together.”

“What's that?”

And like always they both answered at the same time, and said “Having an entire room for a walk-in closet.”

With that they laughed and hugged.

It took no time for things to go back to normal. Well normal until Bradley found the love of his life. He met her while he was with Samantha. The two were at a cafe having lunch when a woman walked in with her hands full of books. She dumped the load in a booth and sat down. She looked directly at Bradley and said “I love reading, but I don't like carrying the books.”

He laughed and said “I'm a reader too, but I carry my Tablet!”

The three laughed. Samantha noticed one of the books and said “I've been meaning to download that book, haven't gotten around to it. Thanks for reminding me.”

They all got to chatting while waiting on their sandwiches. The conversation was so interesting that Samantha invited the woman to sit with them. By the end of lunch the two ladies exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch, which they did and became close friends in a short amount of time.

In fact, Samantha starting spending more time with this woman than she did Bradley. He didn't mind though, because it gave him more time to focus on projects he's been wanting to work on. Although he thoroughly enjoyed his time with Samantha, she always seemed to make plans for excursions and outings that would put his personal projects on the back burner.

“Bradley, Caroline is coming over for dinner tomorrow night! What should I cook? I was thinking fish or chicken. She doesn't really like beef, and pork she doesn't eat.”

“Why don't you make that curry fried fish you learned how to make when we were in Jamaica?”

“Great idea!”

The next night Caroline showed up with a classic red wine and a delicious dessert she picked up from the cafe the three met in.

The night went amazingly awesome. The three planned to make it a regular thing. Three months in is when Bradley and Caroline developed feelings for each other. Samantha was away on a work trip, so Bradley and Caroline had dinner together without her.

After dinner they watched a movie. After the movie the two chatted while finishing up the popcorn. They got talking about work. Caroline confided in Bradley that her coworkers are envious of her, and it's tough going into work each day. She begun to cry and was virtually inconsolable.

Bradley took her into his arms and rocked her like a baby. It was then that he felt what he was always looking for- his person. She cried in his arms for a long while. He held her and listened to until her cry calmed. Even then the two stayed in the embrace.

Bradley wanted to kiss Caroline, but he felt it was an inappropriate time. He didn't want to take advantage of her vulnerability. Although he was burning to kiss her, instead he just remained in the embrace.

It was Caroline who lifted her head and kissed Bradley. Even though he is usually shy and insecure of the initial interaction, with Caroline it was different. He felt secure. They kissed and continued to kiss. He lifted her small frame off the couch and into his bedroom. At that point he knew she wasn't about to resist, and he felt she was wanted his closeness just as much as he needed hers. They made love well into the night, and fell asleep spooning each other.

The next day was Saturday. When Samantha arrived home. She immediately took notice to Caroline's shoes by the front door, and her chic leather jacket slung over the back of the armchair. Her heart sank. She knew what had happened. Nevertheless, in denial, she scurried to her room, hoping and praying that Caroline stayed the night in her bed.

Her bed was empty. Her heart was heavy. She still loved Bradley, deeply, and always thought that one day he'd be ready for her. That he'd realize she was the woman for him. At that moment she understood that the two, Caroline and Bradley, were better suited. Her spirit could sense their compatibility, and it shook her to the root of her existence. Never did she ever consider the fact that they would hook-up.

Not knowing what to do with herself, she pretended to not see Caroline's shoes and jacket and knocked on Bradley's bedroom door. She opened it when she didn't hear an answer. Part of her was hoping they were dead, perhaps killed by an intruder. She knew that would be a long shot.

They were snuggled up tightly. Bradley was holding Caroline in a spooning position that he never held Samantha in. When they were dating, Bradley would often tell Samantha that he couldn't sleep holding someone, and that he needed his space. She could see now that, that wasn't true.

She thought about waking them up. Letting them know she was there, and make as if she was happy for them, but then again, she didn't want to seem over the top. So she closed the door and went to shower.

When she got out of the shower Bradley was awake and making coffee in the kitchen. He looked at her and said “Hey, uh, did you knock on my door earlier? I was dreaming and wasn't sure if it was an actual knock.”

“Yes that was me. I opened the door, but saw you and Caroline, so didn't want to intrude.”

“Yeah, um- you know- uh.”

“Bradley, you owe me no explanations. I'm surprised, but happy for the two of you. Does she know we used to date?”

“Not exactly. If you never told her then she doesn't know. I will be transparent with her though, and tell her. This was sort of all of sudden. Can you give me time to see what's going to transpire between her and I before I say something?”

“Hey, if you never tell her it's cool with me. I can keep a secret. Actually, I'd like it if you never tell her. It would be kinda awkward, you know?”

“You got it. And yes, I agree.” Then as Samantha was about to turn into her room Bradley said “Sam? Thanks. You're the best!”

Samantha said sharply “Clearly I'm not, but yeah, don't worry about it.”

“Sam, are you cool? If this bothers you-”

“It's fine. I just wish I knew this was going on all this time, that's all.”

“It only happened last night and-”

At that moment Caroline popped out of the room and said “Sam! Your home! How did things go?”

Samantha said “Hey, great! Just got out of the shower, gonna do my hair. I'll be out soon. Grab some breakfast. I brought home two dishes, but not feeling very hungry. You two can enjoy.”

“You sure? I'm starving!”

“Yeah, go ahead, take my container” As she turned to enter her room Samantha said under her breath “You already took my man.”

Caroline didn't hear, but Bradley did, and it was at that moment that he knew problems were already stirring.

The two ate and laughed. It was like magic. An instant connection. When they were finished Bradley offered to take Caroline home. He didn't want to upset Samantha any more than she was, yet at the same time he still wanted to share time with Caroline.

The two showered together, had a quickie, got dressed and headed out. As they were leaving, Bradley peeped into Samantha's room and said “Hey, I'm taking Caroline home. Be back later.”

Samantha hardly said bye. She didn't say bye at all to Caroline. That's when Caroline knew something was up. On the way to her place she came straight out and asked Bradley what was up. He was honest with her.

He said “Caroline, I like you very much, and I hope what I'm about to say won't crush anything chances for us growing into something special, but I need to be honest. Samantha and I had a short lived romance way back. Over 14 years ago. We started as friends. She wanted more and so I tried, but it just wasn't working for me. So we decided to be only friends and I moved back into my room. That was it. It literally lasted a few months.”

“Are the two of you friends with benefits now?”

“Absolutely not. Nothing intimate at all has happened between of us since way before we met you. We both dated other people from time to time, but nothing clicked.”

“Well Bradley, I'll be honest with you too. I've been in love with you for months now. I was just waiting for the perfect moment to tell you. I was actually thinking of getting Samantha's advice, but something told me not to. I sensed she'd be jealous.”

“I wouldn't say jealous. It's been a while sense we dated and it really wasn't that intense. It was more of an agreement to try it out, and if it didn't work we'd restore our friendship. When I told her I wasn't feeling her, she understood. She didn't cry, beg or even try to get with me again. We went right back to normal.”

“Being a woman, I sense she's in love with you. That's probably why I didn't approach you sooner. What will we do? Because I feel it will be an issue. You could see the way she treated me so coldly. Just like those jealous women at my work!”

“Let me handle it. I don't think it's as crucial as you make it sound. We'll get through this. Sam will be cool. Seriously, don't worry.”

Bradley slept the night at Caroline's, and stayed with her all Sunday morning, afternoon and evening. He got home a little after 10pm. When he got in Samantha was on the couch watching television. He said hi, but she didn't respond.

He said “Sam, are you mad at me?”

She didn't respond. It was like she couldn't hear him. He sat on the couch beside her, reached in the bowl of popcorn, took a few kernels and said “Sam. I'm sorry.”

“Sorry as in you should not have screwed her, or sorry as in you are in love with her instead of me?”

“Look, Sam, I never planned this. It's a surprise for all of us. Can't we just keep this normal? Not make it strange?”

“Here we go! Blame it on me! Make me the bad one! Make me seem like I'm not the normal one! Whatever!!

By this point Samantha's voice was almost screeching. Bradley is not the confrontational type so he got up and went into his room. He messaged Caroline to tell her that he got in, and filled her in on what happened. Caroline immediately suggested that Bradley return to her place and let Samantha's anger wear off a bit.

Caroline said “Bradley, pack a few things, just don't make it hard for her. If you have to stay here for a couple of days, that just might be the solution, at least for now.”

When Samantha saw Bradley leaving with his over sized gym bag she knew he was leaving for Caroline's. He only used that bag when they were going on vacation. She said “Moving out already?”

“Listen, Sam, this is awkward enough. Please, you know I'm not the type to hurt a woman. I'm not doing this intentionally. It just happened, and it feels right. I can't take away what I feel. Neither of us want to hurt you.”

“No, not at all. My two best friends leave me for each other, and don't want to hurt me?!”

“Sam, we're not leaving you-”

“You might as well! Just go! Take the rest of your things. I'll find a new roommate.”

“Sam, I can't just move out like that! I'm on the lease here and-”

“Look, if you don't leave then I'm leaving. It wouldn't be fair if you break my heart, and make me look for a new place to live!”

Not knowing how to respond Bradley simply said “I'll give you a few days.” and left.

That Monday when Samantha didn't show up to work, Bradley got worried. He spoke to his boss and found out that Samantha took a week's vacation.

His boss said “She didn't tell you she was offered a promotion at the head office in Chicago? That's what her work trip was all about! I thought you knew!”

“Not at all! When does she start?”

“Not sure if she's actually taking it. She's taking the week off to think about it! I thought you'd be the first to know!”

“I guess not.”

“She probably wanted to surprise you. With the $20k raise in her salary, her own office and team. I bet she's planning to hire you as her front guy.”

“Probably not. We had a tough weekend. She's not speaking to me. I'm really proud of her though.”

Bradley stayed at Samantha's for the week. He thought it'd be best to give Samantha space as she was making her career decision. It wasn't until the sixth day that his landlord contacted him and asked him what that godawful smell was coming from his apartment.

Bradley had no clue, so he called Samantha. After several attempts and getting no answer he decided to go over to their place after work. As soon as he walked in the apartment a wave of an unknown stench filled his nose. It was so bad he had to run back out of the apartment.

Even though he never smelled death before, he instinctively knew to call the police and his landlord. Samantha was pronounced dead on the scene. She overdosed on a bottle of pills. Sitting next to her on the coffee table was an empty 40 ounce bottle of vodka.

At the funeral everyone was in shock. They asked Bradley if he had any indication of why she'd taken her own life when so much good was on the rise for her. He didn't ever admit it to anyone, but he knew. He found a letter in his belongings as he was clearing his things out of the apartment to move in with Caroline.

It read “Bradley, don't blame yourself. I've considered taking my life all my life. It's not you. I actually don't know what it was, but it was always a nagging feeling of not wanting to be here any longer. This situation just gave me a good enough reason to finally do it.

Please don't tell anyone about our circumstances. I wouldn't want them to blame you, nor would I want them to judge me as petty. Travel lots... maybe name your first daughter after me. I know you and Caroline's kids will be loved, healthy and great examples of how the world should be. Love you more than you could ever imagine. Don't miss me, travel and you'll find me in the sea! Until we meet again. Love you... more than I love myself.

Samantha.